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[quote=study3600]INT. DEADLY STAR - HALLWAY Hands, Marcus, Lee, and Chunky stop on a platform above the hangar. The area below the ship is swarming with troopers, which is strange, so they didn't run into a single one during their journey back from the daycare center. I mean, it was quite a hike, you think they would have run into at least one person capable of sounding an alarm- Whack GL: Leave it alone. Plot convenience. Sorry. MARCUS: (pulling out his comlink) Stinky-O, do you copy? STINKY: (v.o.) Yes, but I'm just an interpreter, and not very good at such things. MARCUS: Uh... right. Are you safe? STINKY: (v.o.) At the moment. But I'm just an interpreter, and not very good at such things. MARCUS: Suuuure. We're right above you. When you see us make a dash for the ship, follow our lead. STINKY: (v.o.) Yes, sir. But I'm just an interpreter, and not very go- Whack STINKY: (v.o.) OW! Hey, how'd you do that over the comlink?! MARCUS: Wow, Been was right. The Force is with me. STINKY: (v.o.) Whatever you say, sir. But I'm just an inter- Marcus turns off the comlink before Stinky-O can finish. MARCUS: Remind me to wipe his memory after this. HANDS: Sure. Hey, your highnessnessness, aren't you going to make some insult about my ship? LEE: What would the challenge be in that? The sound of booted feet echo around the corner. A squad of stomptroopers is approaching. MARCUS: Quick, if we go this way we can avoid them entirely. HANDS: No, it's not right for my idium. MARCUS: Your what? HANDS: I must escape more... (he trails off, at a loss for words) LEE: Dramatically? HANDS: Yes! Dramatically! Roaring at the top of his lungs, he dashes around the corner and opens fire on the troopers. The squad commander is immediately cut down. TROOPER: Run away! Run away! The troopers all turn tail and run, shouting 'Run away!' Hands charges after them. Chunky sighs, and begins chasing after Hands. LEE: Not the tactic I would have chosen. MARCUS: Yeah, well, what can you do? He's a moron. Come on, let's go INT. DEADLY STAR - SUBHALLWAY Hands chases the stomptroopers down the hallway. Suddenly, the lead stomptrooper stops and spins around, his gun at ready. STOMP 1: Wait a minute! We've got armor, guys! He can't hurt us! The stomptroopers turn around and begin firing wildly in the corridor. Not a single one of their shots even comes close. STOMP 2: I can't see a thing in this darned helmet! STOMP 1: Don't complain! At least it's keeping you safe. One of Hand's shots blasts right through the stomptrooper's armor, killing him instantly. Another shot grazes a trooper's elbow, and his chestplate explodes. Another trooper stubs his toe, and his head blows up, spraying blood everywhere. Within seconds, all of the stomptroopers are dead. Looking around in satisfaction, Hands suddenly looks at the floor and screams. Coming straight at him is a mouse droid. INT. DEADLY STAR - SUBHALLWAY Chunky is running down the corridor, trying to catch up to his friend. Suddenly, Hands barrels around the corner, running for his life, pursued by a very angry mouse droid. Chunky turns around and starts running the other way. INT. DEADLY STAR - HALLWAY Marcus and Lee are running from several stomptroopers. They duck into a nearby hatchway. INT. DEADLY STAR - CENTRAL CORE SHAFT There is a bottomless pit with a narrow bridge crossing it. The bridge has been retracted, and Marcus nearly runs off the edge, but Lee grabs his belt. MARCUS: What is it with GL and bottomless pits? The stomptroopers chasing them open fire. Lee hits a button and the hatchway closes. Marcus blasts the controls, eliminating any chance they had of extending the bridge. MARCUS: There, that should create some dramatic tension. GL: No, not quite. Maybe some more stomptroopers. Several stomptroopers appear on a higher ledge and begin firing at Marcus and Lee. GL: Yes, that's much better. Marcus ignores him as he roots around in his utility belt, practically begging to be sued by Batman for copyright infringement. MARCUS: Let's see... compass, pocketknife, rebreather... (he continues looking) chewing gum, duct tape, via- viagra!? Lee and Marcus exchange looks. LEE: Somehow, I'm not surprised. MARCUS: Yeah, I guess not... ah! Here it is. He pulls out a small grappling hook with a length of cord attached to it. With an expert swing, he hooks it around a fixture. As he is preparing to swing across, Lee suddenly kisses him on the cheek. Marcus looks stunned for a minute, then tries to french her. LEE: AUGH! It was for LUCK, you pervert! MARCUS: Oh. Sorry. Lee and Marcus swing across the chasm, Marcus using the opportunity to feel up Lee. Once again, everyone who has seen RotJ shudders. INT. DEADLY STAR - HALLWAY LEADING TO THE MAIN BAY Been moves stealthily down the hallway towards the Millenium Fountain. As he nears the end of the hallway, Darth Vacuous steps into view, his sabre lit. Been ignites his own sabre. VACUOUS: I've been waiting for you, Ob-Ewan. We converge again at last. The circle is now total. OB-EWAN: Uh... what? VACUOUS: Your vocabulary grows frail, old man. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the ruler. OB-EWAN: Yes, well I can see you still haven't learned the proper way to use a thesaurus. Ob-Ewan lunges suddenly, but is checked by a lightning move by the Sith. A masterful slash stroke by Vacuous is blocked by the old Jedi. Another of Been's blows is-- oh, who am I kidding. Look, this is the worst sabre fight in any of the SW movies. Ob-Ewan obviously hasn't been keeping up his fighting skills since TPM. Normally, I'd just tell you to get a drink or something while this is happening, but there's dialogue, so you might want to stick around. VACUOUS: You should not have come back. BEEN: Actually, I haven't 'come back', since this is the first time I've ever been here. Besides, you can't win. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. VACUOUS: I don't know... I can imagine an awful lot. INT. DEADLY STAR - MAIN FORWARD BAY Hands and Chunky are both breathing hard, obviously exhausted from running. HANDS: I think... we lost it... Marcus and Lee join them. MARCUS: Are you okay? HANDS: Yeah... just... out of breath... MARCUS: What, did you guys run into Darth Vacuous or something? HANDS: Worse. (he shivers) I'll tell you about it later. MARCUS: How's the ship? HANDS: Fine. Why? What are you implying? You saying it won't be fine? MARCUS: Uh, Hands-- HANDS: Is that what you're saying? That my ship's a piece of crap? MARCUS: Hands, I really think you should-- HANDS: Go ahead, say it! What's the matter, don't have the guts to say it to my face!? MARCUS: HANDS! HANDS: What? MARCUS: I'm standing over here. You're talking to a wall. Hands squints, then suddenly blushes. HANDS: (muttering) I knew that. INT. DEADLY STAR - HALLWAY Vacuous and Been continue their duel. The troopers guarding the ship notice the two fighting, and move to investigate. HANDS: Now's our chance! Go! Hands, Marcus, Lee and Chunky race towards the ship. Marcus slows as he sees Been and Vacuous fighting. Been looks at the troopers and realizes he is trapped. Smiling, he raises his sabre. MARCUS: Been? Vacuous sweeps his sabre across, cutting right through Been. Been's cloak falls to the floor in two piece, but he is not in it. MARCUS: NOOOOOO!!!! The stomptroopers turn around and begin firing at Marcus. Still in shock, Marcus returns fire. INT. DAGLOBAH - YOGA'S HUT Yoga is preparing his dinner. As he is about to taste his stew, an angry voice interrupts him. BEEN: WHAT THE **** HAPPENED?!? Yoga turns around to see the pale blue ghost of Been standing in his hut with his fists clenched. YOGA: Ah, took my advice you did. BEEN: And a fat lot of good it did me! You said I would become more powerful than he could imagine! YOGA: Metaphorically was I speaking. One with the Force you have become. BEEN: That's it?! That's the power you were talking about? In case you haven't noticed, I'm DEAD! YOGA: Mmm, very observant you are, yes? Nothing gets past you. BEEN: (muttering) Lying little toad. YOGA: Happens, **** does. Live with it you must. Or in your case, not live with it. BEEN: Oh, ha ha, very freaking funny. INT. DEADLY STAR - MAIN FORWARD BAY Meanwhile, Marcus has been steadily taking down stomptroopers, whose bodies are now starting to pile on top of each other. With one last shot, the final remaining stomptrooper falls over. LEE: Could we go already? Come on, Marcus! MARCUS: No! I wanna kill some more people! Make them bring more people! Vacuous, who has been poking around at Been's cloak for the past few minutes, finally gets up and starts heading towards Marcus. MARCUS: Uh... on second thought, maybe it is time to go. He races into the Millenium Fountain.[/quote]