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[quote=study3600]INT. DEADLY STAR II-THE SEQUEL-HOSPITAL WING Emporer Palpitatine paces back and forth. A MEDICAL DROID comes up to him. DROID: My Lord, the construction is finished. He lives. PALPITATINE: Good, good. The droid brings the Emporer to an operating room. A green and orange figure is on the operating table. Red gloves and yellow boots cover the new mechanical limbs. A purple helmet is strapped to the head for good measure. The table begins to tilt, moving the figure to an upright position. PALPITATINE: GENERAL RIKKAN, you may rise. GENERAL RIKKAN: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! EXT SCOUT CAMPSITE- FOREST OF FEELING-BORDERING ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF LORD LICORICE'S KINGDOM-IT'S ALWAYS DAY-NIGHT NEVER COMES TO THE FOREST OF FEELING HANDS, CHUNKY, and the DROIDS, along with the rest of the squad, wait anxiously in the clearing. Artoo's SONAR screen sticks out of his domed head, and rotates, scanning the forest. He beeps. STINKY-O: Oh, General Hands, somebody's coming. Oh! HANDS, CHUNKY and the rest of the squad raise their weapons. MARCUS steps out if the foliage. HANDS: Where's Lee? MARCUS: What? She didn't come back? HANDS: I thought she was with you? MARCUS: We got separated..Hey, we better go look for her. Take the squad ahead, we'll meet at the shield generator at 0300. HANDS: You are aware time runs differently on different planets. MARCUS: Galactic Standard Hours, nitwit. C'mon Artoo, we'll need your scanners. STINKY-O: Don't worry, Master Marcus, we know what to do. (They move off into the woods.)(To Artoo): And you said it was a little too pretty here.. I think it's to the point of downright creepiness. EXT FOREST OF FEELING-CLEARING-GAS STATION-VERY VERY VERY BRIGHT DAY-GOOEY GOOEY GUMDROPS As LEE fills up her speeder with premium, a strange little furry face with huge bright eyes bounds into view and gives Lee a huge hug. The creature is a Carebear by the name of Wicker. WICKER: The gas is on the house, friend! LEE: Thank you. What's your name? WICKER: Wicker Ashley Davis, at your service, Ma'm, but you can call me Wicker. LEE: Are there more of you? WICKER: We are everywhere! We've been watching you guys since you got here, and the Imperials for months. LEE takes off her hat. Suddenly, with fear and revulsion and a mighty yell, Wicker backs off in horror and points his spear threatening at LEE. LEE: What's the matter? It's just a hat! It's not going to hurt you! WICKER: Just a hat, you say! In our culture, taking off your hat is a promise of murder. LEE immediately puts her hat back on. VOICE: Freeze! Get up! Hands on top of your head! A STOMPTROOPER comes into view with his blaster aimed at LEE. He gestures to his fellow Shortstop. SHORTSTOP 1: Get your ride. Take her back to base. SHORTSTOP 2: Aye-aye, Captain. SHORTSTOP 1: And stop watching all those damned SpongeBob re-runs! They're bad for your brain. Suddenly WICKER appears and takes off his hood. LEE smiles secretly. SHORTSTOP 1: Aren't you cute. WICKER: Give me a hug, friend. Wicker throws his furry arms around the troopers' shoulders and hugs tight..and tighter....and tighter SHORTSTOP 1: Your *gasp* choking me. WICKER hugs tighter. Stomptrooper's neck breaks. As the other trooper begins to speed off on his bike, LEE blasts the trooper and bike to smithereens. WICKER grabs LEE'S hand. WICKER: Come with me, you'll be safe in my village. Yub nub! Lots of food, shelter and yub nub. LEE: (As she follows Wicker) What's Yub nub? WICKER: That's like the single most important word in the human vocabulary and you don't know what it is? It means Yub nub of course. Let's go! They flee into the woods. INT. UMPORER'S TOWER-DEADLY STAR 2-THE SEQUEL-THRONE ROOM TWO RED UMPERIAL RED SOX stand watch as the doors of the elevator open to find VACUOUS. He steps out and kneels before LORD CHIN. VACUOUS: (To himself) Why do I get the feeling this whole battlestation will be transported as a big derelict ship to a large ocean on some planet somewhere and CHIN'S granddaughter and my Nephew's nephew will fight here? CHIN: What was that, Lord Vacuous? VACUOUS: Nothing. CHIN: I thought I told you to wait on the command ship. VACUOUS: Did you? I think that scene got skipped by study3600 because he wanted to get straight to the Battle of Endorphin, the ID4-esque speech, the speeder bike chase and the first Carebear scene, but ah, whatever, a small Rebel force has penetrated our shield and landed on Endorphin. Whack CHIN: Yes, you idiot! Don't you think I knew that?! Why in the hell do you think I gave you such specific, simple instructions?! Tell me something I don't know! VACUOUS: (After a beat) My nephew is with them. CHIN: Ok, that is something I don't know. How do you know? VACUOUS: I have felt him, my Master. CHIN: Strange how you are always feeling things I don't feel. Maybe my feeler is broken. Well, it must be because I'm so good being the bad guy. I haven't been in touch with my inner feelings since Darth Plagiarist converted me to the Dark Side as a boy. VACUOUS: Maybe I can help you get in touch with your inner Sheev. CHIN: There's no time for that now, my son. You must go to the Gingerbread Moon and wait for him. VACUOUS: He will come to me? CHIN:I have forseen it. His compassion for you will be his undoing. He will come to you and then you will bring him before me. VACUOUS: How are you so blamed prophetic and yet so out of touch with your feelings? That really is intellectual dishonesty in my humble opinion, father. CHIN: It is too late for me, son. Soon, Marcus will be one of us. VACUOUS: Rule of two. I remember what you did to Lord Tinnitus when you started converting me on General Greedy's flagship. CHIN: Do as I say or you don't get any dinner tonight and no Ruby Bliels for a whole month! Do as I say, boy! VACUOUS: (flatly) As you wish. (Rises) He walks back onto the elevator shaft. The doors close. INT. ELEVATOR -DEADLY STAR 2-THE SEQUEL VACUOUS stands in the elevator car as elevator muzak plays: Help me Rhonda, Help, Help me Rhonda Help Me Rhonda, help help me Rhonda, Get Her Out of My Heart The GHOST OF BEEN-THERE APPEARS. OB-EWAN: Relax. Take a deep breath. Why, you haven't been this tense since, well, since we fell into that nest of Murder Hornets. VACUOUS: You fell into that nightmare, Ob-Ewan, and I rescued you, remember? It took two years for all those welts on you to fully shrink and go down, and the resulting rash took even longer to heal than that! OB-EWAN: You still dream about Patme, don't you? She's the mother of my child, but she's your wife. VACUOUS: She's all I think about. OB-EWAN: She's not dead, you know, and we broke it off long ago, when she died. She is in your heart and she is above. She's 100% all for you now. Waiting on your decision, of course.... VACUOUS: I know what I'm doing. You don't know the Power of the Dark Side. I must serve and obey my master and father. OB-EWAN: When the time comes, Manakin, you will make the right decision. VACUOUS: This conversation is over. The GHOST OF OB-EWAN McNOBI fades. VACUOUS breathes his measured, mechanical breaths, thinking. EXT. FOREST OF FEELING-QUEEN FROSTINE'S GRAND FROSTING-COVERED WOOD- 4K HD ULTRADAY The party of HANDS, MARCUS and CHUNKY, ARTOO and STINKY-O search through the woods for LEE. STINKY-O: I'm afraid Artoo's SONAR can find no trace of Princess Lee. HANDS: Switch to RADAR, Artoo. SONAR is for underwater. Artoo switches to RADAR. He beeps, excitedly. SEE-STINKY-O: Artoo says he senses three B-52 stealth bombers that are drones patrolling this area. We'd better make ourselves scarce, he says. HANDS: I hope LEE is alright. CHUNKY growl, sniffing the air, then with a bark, pushes through the bright multicolored foilage. A large lump of QUEEN FROSTINE'S ICING falls on Artoo, jamming his RADAR. He beeps a blue streak. GL: Careful, Artoo. This movie is rated PG. ARTOO: (Beeps angily) GL: You really think Oolah's breast slip, and the brief freeze-frame rear end reveal of Pizza's dancing slave girl, and LEE's skimpy iron underwear in PIZZA's CASINO ought to bump this film up to an MPAA PG-13 rating?! ARTOO: (Beeps) GL: You know that only perverts notice those things and people with pure minds don't even regard them and just enjoy the movie Artoo, and I will not let you say whatever you want just because there's a little nudity and pruriance in this installment. Talk to the costuming department and take up your grievances with them. ARTOO: (Beeps even angrier) GL: What do you mean you did and they said they got all their costume ideas from me?! Shut your damn metal trap or I'll fuse it shut permanently! ARTOO: (Blows a raspberry at Lucas) GL: Well, Beep diddle beep to you, too! ARTOO: Well Kriff you, then! GL: Well, I never! They are about to continue their argument when suddenly , CHUNKY sees the object he smelled., a Satisfying Snicker's bar. CHUNKY licks his chops. MARCUS: No, wait, Chunky, don't- Before MARCUS can finish, CHUNKY grabs the Snicker's bar and takes a huge gooey peanuty chocolaty bite after quickly shedding the wrapping and tossing it on the ground like a banana peel, and a cord attached to the Candy Bar is yanked, knocking a small domino down which knocks a series of increasingly larger dominoes down, , which in turn causes an elaborate chain of events in a huge chain reacton where there is a whole lot of moving parts going on, which action the GROUP watch with rapt curiosity, wondering what will happen next. Eventually, a marble is sent down a series of ramps then down a whirlpool like struccture around and around dropping down which hits a ball that rolls into the rub-a-dub-tub, which flips a little man into the pan, the trap os set, HERE COMES THE NET! WHAM (Why didn't they all see this coming?!) They are all in a huge net, high above the spongey, bouncy ground. HANDS: (beats CHUNKALUNK over the head with a rolled-up newspaper.) BAD COOKIE!!! A bunch of Carebears and Wuzzles and a whole bunch of other assorted animal type men and women come out of the woods, led by a LION MAN. They lower the net and release them all. LION: I am Telemarchus, the Lion-hearted. These are my fellow tribesmen. The Gummy Bears live on the other side of this moon. They're really into drinking Gummy Berry Juice and bouncing here and there and everywhere. They are the Gummy Bears. I will fetch Unicorn mounts for each of you, and-What's THIS?! Quetzalcoatl?! You have returned! All hail Quetzalcoatl! Every Carebear bows down and chants to and worships See-Stinky-O. STINKY-O: What the hell? TELEMARCHUS: Oh-you're not our long-awaited Savior God?! STINKY-O: Hell, no! I'm just a damn Protocol Droid! TELEMARCHUS: My mistake, then. EVERYONE stop worshiping this Golden Tick-Tock man, and fetch our Unicorns and saddle them up! Tonight we feast. To our village! Princess Lee Smits told us all about you, and your plight with the minions of the Emporer. We will give you food and supplies and shelter and Yubnub! Lots and lots of Yubnub! HANDS: What in the round world is 'Yubnub'? TELEMARCHUS: Wicker says Lee asked the same question. It's pretty obvious. Yubnub is Yubnub. Lee really likes Yubnub. It's the best thing in the whole world. MARCUS: And just what is 'Yubnub', may I ask? TELEMARCHUS: I am surprised at your ignorance., Sir. Yubnub is Yubnub! I just told the other, older man that, right in front of you. MARCUS: Okaaaay, then, Let's go to your village. EXT FOREST OF FEELING-GRAMMA NUTT'S BIG FIELD-ENDORPHIN-UBERDAY The GROUP rides on FOUR pink UNICORNS with turquoise horns and with Carebear ESCORTS also on smaller Unicorn ponies through an open field with no trees in sight. ARTOO flies alongside them using his RETRO ROCKETS. ARTOO: Betcha didn't know I still had these, did'ja?. (Translation: Betcha didn't know I still had these, did'ja?) EXT. TREETOP CAREBEAR VILLAGE-ENDORPHIN-STILL DAY-AS I SAID IN A PREVIOUS SCENE DESCRIPTION, NIGHT NEVER COMES TO THE FOREST OF FEELING A bunch of CAREBEARS are balancing spiral springs on their noses while hopping on one foot in a vat of melted chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, while watching endless re-runs of various soap operas and Spanish Telenovelas, all while taking turns passing a baton endlessly from one Carebear to the next to the next in an endless loop. LEE is also in the vat, laughing and giggling with the Carebears and participating in this activity. MARCUS: What the holy hell is this ****?! LEE: Yubnub, of course! You should try it. You might like it. Every Carebear does it, the men, the women the kids, c'mon Marcus! MARCUS: Erm, thanks, but I'll pass. HANDS: Say, that looks like a lot of fun, Lee! Can I try? LEE: OKAY, on count of three, everyone, 3...2..1... EVERYONE IN VAT: YUBNUB! YUBNUB! YUBNUB! YiYiYiYiYiYiYi YUBNUB![/quote]