The Star Wars Humorous Versions

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12/22/2023 7:24 pm  #1


The Falcon And The Ghost Humorous Version

WARNING: ST MANDO AHSOKA REBELS AND MCU SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!

Feedback and concrit welcome (for my contributions; can't speak for any other author.)


WARNING MANDALORIAN, BOBF, AHSOKA and MCU SPOILERS AHEAD

Authors: study888, first author (aka as Brent Koivopolo V) (or Ben-ach)




This can be Round Robin if anyone else pitches in in writing it.

This is a Star Wars parody of Marvel's Falcon and the Winter Soldier, also entitled Fountain and the Ghost (because honestly you can't parody a name like Ghost) set just after Star Wars Rebelliousness and Just after Rehash of the Jedi, but before the events of the MacGuffin.

The idea is that the crews of the Millennium Bug and the Ghost go on adventures together but it follows the basic story beats of Falcon and the Winter Soldier, only with our beloved Humorous Version Characters. (Missing are Esdras Bridgetoofar and Canaanite Jarvis, and Ahsoka Bratto and Sabina Renovation who are either dead or missing in action at this time period.)

Dramatis Personae

Good

Marcus Streetwalker
Princess Lee Smits
Hands Off
Young Kindof Been, four year old toddler.
Jason Sydrome
Heron Syndrome
R2-D2
Price Chopper
Guaranteed Oreos, Lasat
Chunkalunk the Cookie Monster
Stryder
Commander Reeks
Alphabet Soup Squadron
Rouge Squadron

Bad

Warlord Xinji, Iron Maiden
Warlord Cain
Bludgeon Clone
Shadow Council
Target Practice, er, Stormtroopers
TIES, Imperial Shuttles and other Imperial Ships
Moff Giddyap
Brendled Hoax
Captain Pellican
Clone cyllinders galore
Warlord Garrettic
Warlord Korah
Moff Lorentin





Last Edit: Apr 27, 2023 at 2:44pm by BrentKoivopolo888



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Post by BrentKoivopolo888 on Apr 22, 2023 at 1:28am
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Man is sitting on his couch, applying for a Purple credit card on his laptop.


Suddenly a purple brightsabre blade dashes through his wall, and slices a man shaped hole in it. A man in a robe comes through.

MACE WINDY: Congratulations, you've used the Purple credit card. That makes you the Jedi of every purchase, and Jedis.....don't take the stairs.

Suddenly both men are falling down the Coruscant cityscape, Mace with only one hand.

MACE: What's in your m'***** wallet, fool?


Coruscant One: Purple


What the hell is in your wallet?

A SPEAKPURPANDVACPARODYUN LTD PRODUCTION

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EPISODE 1

INT GHOST

Guaranteed Oreos is ironing his socks. He sees R2-D2.

HERON SYNDROME: How does it feel?

TEED OREOS: Like he's someone else's.

HERON: He ain't. He's yours too now.


TITLE CARD: THE FOUNTAIN AND THE GHOST

Rising above the clouds, the GHOST flies overhead.

INT REBEL BASE

VOICE (O.S.): The criminal organization known as Crimson Dawn is targeting the Lasat, Guaranteed Oreos, one of the Rebellion's military liasons.

GENERAL HANDS OFF: Crimson Dawn?

GENERAL RIKKAN: Yeah, they're high powered.

General Rikkan looks like and orange creamsickle with a bright orange helmet and brightly colored suit and artificial limbs.

RIKKAN (CONT'D): We lost contact with the Lasat's ship just after it took off. Aboard were the Lasat, Heron Syndrome, a droid, and Heron's 3 year old son. We need you to make sure Crimson Dawn doesn't deliver on their threat.

PRICE CHOPPER: And a Jay-Z song was on. And a Jay-Z song was on. (Translation: R2! Buddy! If I get my hands on those thugs-!)

RIKKAN: The Ghost has already entered Shadow Collective airspace. The New Republic cannot be seen operating out there.

HANDS: We'll just scramble the signal coding of the Fountain to seem like just any old Corsmell'yan freighter. They'll never see it coming.


RIKKAN: And Hands, this has to be subtle. And put your glasses on!


HANDS: Oh, right. (Puts glasses on) My ship's over here. My bad.

Rikkan Facepalms.

Hands Off and Chunky strap in to the pilot and co-pilot seat, as Lee, Marcus and Price Chopper strap in as well. The Millennium Bug takes off into the air, spins and corkscrews, and shoots into the Mottled Sky of Hyperspace.

EXT SPACE

The FOUNTAIN comes out of Hyperspace, and comes within sight of the Ghost.

HANDS: (V.O.) I've got eyes on the Lasat's ship.

Flies beneath the GHOST, looks up, sees two Crimson Dawn Thugs in the cockpit.

HANDS: (V.O.) They've already hijacked the ship.

MARCUS: Time for a spacewalk.

LEE: Be careful out there!

Marcus exits an airlock in a spacesuit and ignites his jetpack. He looks into the cockpit of the GHOST. One of the THUGS sees him, and speaks French. Marcus flees out of sight, behind the GHOST.

THUG 1: (In French) Did you see that?

THUG 2: (In French) I'm gonna kill you!

Oreos, Heron and Jason are tied up in the main hold of the ship. R2 is fitted with a restraining bolt.

HANDS: (V.O.) This is the Freighter Frömme requesting an emergency dock! We have sick and wounded!

V.O. : Freighter Frömme, prepare to dock. Opening airlock now.

INT GHOST

First MARCUS flies into the airlock, then the FOUNTAIN docks with the GHOST. MARCUS ignites his green brightsabre, and hurries to deal with the Crimson Dawn Thugs.

Hands and Lee engage more THUGS in battle. There are also some Impaling Poyle's aboard to contend with, and another man in a spacesuit and jetpack. He jumps out of the open airlock. MARCUS jumps after him. HERON and OREOS also pursue the SPACESUIT THUG in the PHANTOM.

MARCUS: Phantom, blast his a**!

HANDS: You are about to fly into Shadow Collective airspace and I assume they'll have a problem with that. You've got to call it off. You've got to find another way.

HERON: We just did!

She blasts the Spacesuit Crimson Dawn THUG back to Hot just before they officially enter Shadow Collective airspace.

LEE: (V.O.) Ok, back to the GHOST and the FOUNTAIN.

The PHANTOM picks up MARCUS and they head back to the GHOST.


INT NURSERY A DELPHI-NEAR OUTER RIM-DAY

SEE STINKY-O: Why am I stuck here playing nursemaid to this kid who in 20 years will be a fierce Darkside warrior anyway who's gonna kill his own dad, when everyone else is out there among the stars on a rescue mission? At least they're rescuing R2, not that he ever needs it. Oh, my, what is it now Kindof Been? You want your damn Cookiebear again, is that it. Your 3 years old, you got legs, get it yourself. Go on. Cry. Oh, all right.

Gets toy for Kindof Been.

Kindof Been takes toy. He cries again.

STINKY-O: Hungry already? (Sighs and goes to make food.)

Suddenly a whoosh overhead is heard.

In walks Hands and Lee, followed by Marcus.

HANDS: Let's pour some wine and bust out a game of Dominoes.

STINKY-O: R2-D2, what a sight for sore eyes.

R2-D2: Plat nat Tooey! (Translation: The feeling is so not mutual!)

Kindof Been runs and hugs Lee and Hands.



INT A DELPHI REC ROOM-DAY

 

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