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- study3600
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The Mandalorian Humorous Version
Warning: SW Saga and Mando and BOBF and TBB and MCU SPOILERS throughout.
Rated PG-13 for violence, sex humor and drug references
TITLE: The Mandalorian Humorous Version
SUBTITLE: The MacGuffin
Genre: Fantasy/Sci-fi
Timeline: Between Return of The Jedi and The Book of Boba Fett. Season 3 Between Book of Boba Fett and Restistance (Revolution (Resistance) Humorous Version not to be written yet, until I start it-study3600)
Author: First author: study3600 (aka BrentKoivopolo888 or Anakin77 or Luke888 aka Cameron Williams aka William Brently aka Brent Sohlden)
Length: Two or more TV Show Seasons' Worth of Material to cover.
Notes: This collaborative work is not based upon a script but solely from observing the show and adapting it from a good memory, the best you can. This story is told in the present tense, in script format because that is the way Speak started to write it in 1999. Please no comments or discussion except not in-thread, but after the Seasons are all said and done and written up and parodied, at the very end, the thread will be open to all comments and discussion.
A long time ago in the as yet untouched by Kennedy Filoniverse....
THE HUMOROUS VERSIONS
THE MacGUFFIN
CHAPTER 1: The Man from Laurien
Red and Green Christmas colors flash on the screen, followed by the COOLEST TECHNO STAR WARS MUSIC EVER, and the first EVER CANON STAR WARS TELEVISION SHOW INTRO WITH SCENES from the SERIES is PLAYED, followed by the SEVENTEEN tiny words you have to put glasses on to see, at the bottom center of the screen which flash by for only a split second, ("By the way, in case you weren't aware of this fact, you are now watching The MacGuffin").
INT EARTH-DODGE CITY-SALLOON-DAY
As DOC HOLLIDAY, BAT MASTERSEN, BLACK BART, MATT DILLON, BILLY THE KID AND BUTCH CASSIDY play POKER with WILD BILL HICCKOCK and ANNIE OAKLEY, a LONE GUNSLINGER WALKS into the BAR and-
Whack
MACE WINDY: Wrong movie, study3600, in fact I'm not even sure if that is a movie.
study3600: Ow! Sorry.
INT A PLANET-BAR-DAY
It is DARK in the BAR. DIDN'T HEAR'IM walks in and immediately gets into a BARFIGHT, which he wins HANDS DOWN.
He puts down a Bounty Puck on the bar, which lights up with THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON-LIKE MAN'S image.
DIDN'T HEAR' IM: I can bring you in warm...or I can bring you in Triple Ripple Fudge.
Everyone in the bar gasps.
LAGOON MAN: Hey, that's not even me.
Failing at this he makes a VAIN ATTEMPT TO BARGAIN.
CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON-LIKE MAN: I can get you more credits.
HEAR'IM: (Raises hand to where ear is beneath his helmet) Eh? Didn't hear you.
BLACK LAGOON MAN: I said, I CAN GET YOU MORE CREDITS!!!
HEAR'IM: Geez, man, you don't have to yell. You're coming with me.
The BLACK-LAGOON MAN tries to run away. To prevent HIS QUARRY'S escape, he fires a blaster bolt OUT THE DOOR, making it close PARTWAY.
The man he's after attempts to squeeze out the PARTIALLY CLOSED DOOR, finds he can't, and tries in vain to fight DIDN'T HEAR'IM again.
DIDN'T HEAR'IM wraps him up in a cable, then slaps binders on his wrists.
DIDN'T HEAR'IM: Still your choice...warm or Triple Ripple Fudge.
LAGOON MAN: Warm, I guess.
DIDN'T HEAR'IM: Eh?
LAGOON MAN: WARM!
HEAR'IM: Ok, then let's go.
EXT ICE PLANET-EVENING
BLACK LAGOON MAN follows HEAR'IM across the ICE. A SPEEDER pulls up. The DROID piloting the SPEEDER is obviously drunk from too much DROID BAR OIL.
DROID: (Hic) Where to, Mister?
DIDN'T HEAR'EM: Eh?
DROID: (Hic) (Hic) I SAID WHERE TO, MISTER??
DIDN'T HEAR'EM: Well, obviously no where with you. You're tipsy.
Sullenly, the DROID sinks his head and drives his SPEEDER away.
Last edited by study3600 (3/03/2026 6:34 pm)
Socrates, Plato, Aristotle and William Shakespeare were geniuses who were ahead of their times.
- study3600
- Administrator
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- Registered: 12/22/2023
- Posts: 374
Re: The Mandalorian Humorous Version
Another speeder, this time with a man in it, drives up. He is stone cold sober. HEAR'EM and BLACK LAGOON MAN get in. They speed over the ICE WASTELAND, the man looking through his MICROBINOCULARS to seek HEAR'EM's ship, the RAZOR'S EDGE.
CABBIE: D'dja get your ship from Galaxy's Edge at Disney Parks?
HEAR'EM: Eh?
CABBIE: Well, your ship is called the Razor's EDGE, so I figure.....
HEAR'EM: Eh? Speak up. My helmet makes it difficult for me to hear, and I can never take it off.
CABBIE: NEVER MIND. EVERYONE THINKS THIS WHOLE PLANET IS THEIR OWN PERSONAL S---HOUSE!
HEAR'EM: Now, why'd you go and say a rude thing like that? And so loudly!
CABBIE: Ah, here we are, the Razor's Edge, your ship.
HEAR'EM: Eh?
CABBIE: YOUR SHIP!
HEAR'EM: Stop saying that awful word!
CABBIE: I said SHIP, not S---!
HEAR'EM: Oh. I see it. Let's go, prisoner.
As they get in the ship, a BIG RANDOM MONSTER gobbles up the CABBIE. HEAR'EM calmly walks up the boarding ramp while BLACK LAGOON MAN panics, screams and runs up the ramp ten times faster than HEAR'EM.
When the ramp closes, HEAR'EM gets into the cockpit with BLACK LAGOON MAN.
As they ascend into the exosphere, BLACK LAGOON man loudly talks DIDN'T HEAR'EM's ear off, asking him why he can't remove his helmet and saying he's really gotta evacuate his thorax, needs a vac tube. To get rid of him, HEAR'EM sends him belowdecks. BLACK LAGOON MAN pretends to go to the bathroom, then opens a gun cabinet, and grabs and loads a blaster carbine.
BLACK LAGOON MAN: "OH YEAH, IT FEELS SO GOOD TO EVACUATE MY THORAX, HASN'T BEEN DONE IN TWO OR-"
He turns around. DIDN'T HEAR'EM is right behind him. Before he can get off a shot, HEAR'EM stuns him and BLACK LAGOON MAN FLIES BACKWARDS 10 FEET into the ICE CREAM MACHINE.
DIDN'T HEAR'EM: Triple Ripple Fudge it is then. Looks like you won't be home for Life Day.
BLACK LAGOON man is frozen in marble ice cream.
Socrates, Plato, Aristotle and William Shakespeare were geniuses who were ahead of their times.
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