WARNING: THIS THREAD CONTAINS STAR WARS SAGA SPOILERS, POSSIBLY FOR AHSOKA, OBI-WAN, MANDO, BOBF, ETC, AND POSSIBLE MCU SPOILERS

RATED PG-13 FOR POSSIBLE SEX HUMOR AND LANGUAGE

TITLE: Rebels Humorous Version
SUBTITLE: Rebelliousness
AUTHORS: A collaborative work. First author: study888.
Characters: Ezra Bridgetoofar, Canaan Jarvis, Sabrina Wren, Guaranteed Oreos, Darth Vacuous, Grand Inquisitive, Darth Bludgeon, Heron Syndrome, Fat Brother, Ahsoka Bratto, Grand Admiral Groan, Governor PriceIsRight, Prime Minister Duo, Price-Chopper, Adam-12, Agent Calloused, other major and minor characters.
Notes: For my parts of the parody, I invite comments and concrit.

Episode 1: Spark of Rebelliosness Part 1.

SC 01 EXT SPACE

Two Umperial Star Whackers go across the screen side-by-side. A third goes across the middle of the screen in the opposite direction. Pull back to reveal this is an image on a TV screen behind the Grand Inquisitive with the correct-shaped head, as he kneels before a HOLOGRAM of DARTH VACUOUS.

VACUOUS: A lot of the Jedi Knights are destroyed, but your task is not yet complete, Inquisitive. The Umperor has forseen a new threat rising against him-the Children of the Corn-they must not become Jedi.

GRAND INQUISITIVE: You mean the Children of the Force, don't you?

VACUOUS: Oh, yeah, of course. The Children of the Watch must not become Jedi.

GRAND INQUISITIVE: Huh? You mean the Children of the Force.

VACUOUS: Yeah, them too. Hunt down the Children of the Force, and if they will not serve the Umpire cakes, eliminate them, and destroy any remaining Jedi that remain that can train them. This is the Umperor's command.

INQUISITIVE: And so it will be done.

The Inquisitive's eyes open. They are yellow. He puts drops of Clear Eyes in each eye and they're white again.

SC 02 GOLFBOLL-DAY

Ezra Bridgetoofar is on his high tower of a house with his arms folded and his head down over the guardrail (-HA-guardrails!-told 'ya!), looking bored. He looks up to the sky and sees an Umperial Star Whacker flying overhead.

He gets on his speeder bike and heads toward the city.



THE HUMOROUS VERSIONS

REBELLIOUSNESS

SC 03 EXT GOLFBOLL-CITY-DAY

A GOATMAN MERCHANT is being harassed by some STOMPTROOPERS and 2 UMPERIAL OFFICERS.

OFFICER 1: Your identification, NOW!

GOATMAN: I baaaah was just meeeeh trying to sell a couple York Peppermint Patties here.

OFFICER 2: All trade must be registered with the Umpire.

GOATMAN: I baaah remember meeeeh what it was like before baaaah your ships meeeeh showed up. Before you baaaah Umperials ruined Golfboll like the rest of the Galaxy.

OFFICER 2: (Into comm) This is LARCENY-01. I'm bringing in a citizen under charge of treason.

COMM: Copy that. LARCENY-01, dispatch to cellblock AAA-23 Rechargeable Batteries.

They start to take away the GOATMAN and unwrap and eat the York Peppermint Patties.

GOATMAN: You can't do this!

OFFICER 1: (With his mouth full of the patties) Who's going to stop us. You? You?

He is referring to MINISTER DUO and a RODIAN MALE who are standing there. The RODIAN walks away.

EZRA BRIDGETOOFAR passes between the two officers.

EZRA: Hey Mister, spare a York?

OFFICER 1: Move along, street rat.

EZRA: Sorry, sorry, not looking for trouble.

Secretly, Ezra grabs the comm link off of OFFICER 2's utility belt.

EZRA walks away.

EZRA: It's only trouble if you get caught.

The two officers hear the COMM buzz.

COMM: This is a Code Red emergency. They're giving away free Mountain Dew Code Red at the local convenience store. First come, first serve.

OFFICER 2: This is your lucky day, merchant scum. You two, come with me. We shall have our thirst for one of Dew's thousand flavors quenced today. Need it after all this salty chocolate!

The officers and Stomptroopers walk off.

Ezra comes back to the Goatman.

EZRA: (Into the comm) If you don't get there in 2 minutes, we will start charging full-price again. But you still want it. I know you do.

GOATMAN: I can't thank you enough.

Suddenly Ezra starts loading every last one of the York patties into his backpack.

GOATMAN: Hey, what are you doing? ? !

EZRA: Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, otherwise we'd get along.

SC 04 GOLFBOLL-CITY-DAY

Ezra looks from the top of a ledge as Canaan Jarvis, Sabrina Wren and Guaranteed Oreos walk around signalling each other.

EZRA: Interesting. (Eats a York patty) These York patties are rather tasty.

Then Sabrina tosses an explosive onto an Umperial speeder bike.

It's a dud.

She tosses another one onto it.

It's a dud.

She shoots it with her blaster and it explodes.

UMPERIAL OFFICER: Secure those crates at all costs!

EZRA: At all costs, hmm?

 

Last edited by study3600 (3/02/2024 7:31 pm)