- study3600
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Offline - Registered: 12/22/2023
- Posts: 249
Re: VECTOR PRIME HUMOROUS VERSION
39.
Meanwhile, back on the planet that must not be named . . .
Anakin: Where?s grandfather?
Chewbacca: I?m not sure . . . How long has he been gone?
Everyone looks confused.
Luke: I have a bad feeling about this.
Han: Hey, that?s my line!
Mara: Is your bad feeling a Force-induced feeling, or due to the extreme rash you?re developing around your bikini-line?
Luke: (hopping up and down in discomfort) Chewie! This hurts. Make it stop.
Chewbacca: No!
Luke: Please?!
Chewbacca: NO!
Luke: PLEASE!!!!
Chewbacca: NO!!!!!
Luke: Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, PLEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSSE!!!!!!!
Chewbacca: Fine! Just *SHUT UP*! Go and change out of the pants. (cuts Luke off before he can ask the next obvious question) NO! You have to leave the top on.
Luke: (grins cheekily) Who said anything about taking it off?
Luke runs off to change.
Chewbacca: (addressing Mara) How do you live with him?
Mara: (rolls her eyes and indicates upwards) How do you think I married him in the first place?
Jacen: You?ll be in trouble when Grandfather gets back. It?s not wise to upset a Sith.
Chewbacca: What makes you think he?ll be upset?
Jacen: I?m his eldest grandson!
Chewbacca: And a whining little brat. Why do you think he left you here? And what precisely do you think he left the Dead Zone to do in the first place? It certainly wasn?t for a touching family reunion! He barely said a dozen words to you.
Anakin: Most people don?t even say that much to him if they can at all help it.
Jacen: I?ll tell Dad on you!
Anakin: Go ahead! (looks up at Chewbacca innocently)
Chewbacca: Jacen, be nice. As my son, Anakin inherits all the life debts owing to me.
Jacen: @#$% *&^% *@#$
Mara: We?re doomed.
- study3600
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- Posts: 249
Re: VECTOR PRIME HUMOROUS VERSION
40.
Meanwhile, back in the Profic EU Dyp and Corran are having a fitting with their latest sponsor.
Dyp: Do you really think black makes my butt look big? I always thought it gave me that dark and dangerous look.
Couturier: It does, but with this increasing hostility towards the Jedi, that isn?t quite the look you should be going for. Yellow will give you a more melodious look. And it will match your purple lightsabre.
Dyp: I?m g1ad you let me keep the colour. A royal colour is important for one who is the new leader of the Jedi.
Corran: That?s what you think little boy. Didn?t anyone tell you to show more respect to your elders. OOOOOOOhhh! I want the dark brown robes!
Couturier: Sorry. You have to wear green.
Corran: Why?
Dyp: So when I declare you an outlaw you can go and hide in the Iffy forest with your merry men.
Corran: I think I burnt down the Iffy forest. Or I was responsible for it. I?m not entirely sure. I?ll have to wait until we reach the end of Ruin.
Dyp: Not to worry. The same colour can always be used in sewers.
Corran: Why you little . . . !!!!
Couturier: Stop it! Both of you! It is specifically stated in your contracts that as the official spokesmen of *Pulp Fashions* you WILL get along.
Dyp: Just you wait, old man. You?ll be washed up as a model in a couple of years time and then I?ll wipe you out.
Couturier: Ummm, actually . . . with all the design changes we made to your lightsabre, it is no longer capable of inflicting potentially fatal injuries.
Dyp: WHAT?????
Couturier: All those bulky fittings didn?t fit in with the sleek new design we are marketing to our younger audience.
Dyp: If it can?t work, WHO CARES?????
Couturier: If our target audience won?t buy the merchandise, then we do. And by the way, make sure the label is clearly visible next time you?re in a fight. Having it hidden under all the blood and guts really isn?t the look we?re after.
Dyp: I don?t see how that will be an issue since the damn thing won?t be capable of cutting through the skin.
Corran: Poor little Dyppy! Without his great big laser sword, who?s going to be scared of him?
Dyp: This coming from the man with an adjustable length for his lightsabre. What does *THAT* say about your personal neuroses.
Corran: That was my grandfather?s lightsabre!
Dyp: Then apparently it?s hereditary.
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