The Star Wars Humorous Versions

You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?



10/02/2025 12:31 pm  #1


Star By Star Humorous Version

SCAR BY SCAR
_______________

The NJO: Star By Star Humorous Version

Last edited by study3600 (10/02/2025 4:34 pm)

 

10/02/2025 4:40 pm  #2


Re: Star By Star Humorous Version

Dramatis Personae

Alegolamb Rare, Jedi Knight (female Twi'lek)
Anakin Solo, Jedi Knight (male human)
Bella Hera Syndulla, Jedi Knight (female Barabel)
Cesar Salad, Jedi Knight (male Barabel)
Dorkus Felt'ya (Bothan male from Hell)
Chewie's Ghost (ex-Cookiee from Kashyyyyuk!)
Cilghal, Jedi Master (Female Fishhead from Dak)
C-Stinky-O (annoying Protocol Droid.)
Earl of Besa, Jedi Knight  (female human)
Gamma Raysode, Jedi Knight (male human)
Hands Off (bespectacled Captain, Millennium Pinto)
Jacen Solo (ill-fated male Jedi Knight)
Jaina Solo, Jedi Knight (female human)
Jarvis Dark, Jedi Knight (male Rodian)
Krushnev Hera Syndulla,  Jedi Knight (female Barabel)
Kyp Durron, Jedi Master (a favorite of Kevin J. Anderson)
Leia Organic Solo Off (never-used Jedi)
Lowbacca, Jedi Knight (male Cookiee)
Luke Skywalker (a**-kickin' Jedi Master)
Mara Jade (Luke's Wife)
Nom Nom Anor (male YubYub Pong)
Pimp Action Billy Dee Calrissian (Scoundrel)
R2-D2 (snarky Astromechnic Droid)
Raymond Thor, Jedi Knight (male human)
Sabine WrenScbatyne, Jedi Knight (female Barabel)
Tahiti Valhalla, Jedi Knight (female Cheddar-Fan)
Sing-Song LaaLaa, Warmaster (YubYub Pong)
Ukulele Kore, Jedi Knight (female Bith) (secretly a Sith or Bith Lord) (That will complicate things)
Verde, advisor to Sing-Song LaaLaa (female Fish)
Vicki Sheesh, senator (female human)
Zak; Jedi Knight (male human)

Last edited by study3600 (10/02/2025 6:01 pm)

     Thread Starter
 

10/02/2025 5:22 pm  #3


Re: Star By Star Humorous Version

Prologue
__________

SHOOTOUT AT THE OK MEDICAL CENTER

     Thread Starter
 

10/02/2025 5:51 pm  #4


Re: Star By Star Humorous Version

1.


Outside the MedCenter viewport, a ragged crescent of white twinkie

Luke: Twinkie?

Narrator: Sorry, saw it wrong and hungry for a sweet snack-
Known as the Drop of a Hat dropped across the violet sky, the Lower tip of the delicious twinkie (not as good as before the Hostess shutdown and reopening in my opinion ) slashing through  the Rontosaurus to touch a red star named The Eye of the Tiger, it's the Thrill of the Fight, Rising Up to the Challenge of our Rival. . . .anyway, the constellations above Corsmellya had not changed since Hands Off was a child boosting speeders and stealing hyperfuel for Lady Proximity, stuff unknown to Star Wars fans in 2001 when Troy Denning wrote this, when he had spent his nights contemplating the galactic depths and dreaming with Qui'ra

Luke: No one knew about Qui'ra in 2001!

Narrator - of life as a Starship Captain. He had believed then that stars never changed but was in for a rude awakening when at the academy he opened up his Astronomy textbook to page one and learned that like everything in the galaxy, stars were born (like Judy Garland), grew old (like Henry Winkler) and died (like Shirley Temple Black, and agian and again and now we are quite certain she is dead.) They swelled (like Rob Reiner since All In the Family) into Red Giants or withered ( like oh so many actors who feel they have to starve themselves to play the part) into white dwarfs, exploded into nova and supernova, vanished into black holes.
All too often, they changed hands (like from Grorge Lucas to Disney).
It had been nearly three weeks since the fall of the Duro System (Cad Bane wouldn't be too happy about that), and Hands still found it hard to believe that the YubYub Pong had a stronghold in the Core (After all the NJO HV writers haven't been writing much about their conquests or fighting,  all of which assuredly HAD been going on all this time. Hopefully the narrative of the war at hand will be steered back to in the continuation of the earlier threads.)
Even Coryscant was no longer safe, lying as it did at the opposite end of the Corsmellyan Trade Spine.

Last edited by study3600 (10/02/2025 5:57 pm)

     Thread Starter
 

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum