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- study3600
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Offline - Registered: 12/22/2023
- Posts: 310
The Most of the Star Wars 1978 Holiday Special Humorous Version
ANNOUNCER: Loki Season 2 will not be shown tonight. Nor will our preview of Black Widow Series Season 1 or Vision: Resurrection or our Spiderman non rebooted series based upon No Way Home and Dr. Strange multiverse concept, coming July 2023 to Disney + (and will also feature Spider-Pig.)
Upbeat music.
ANNOUNCER: The Star Wars Holiday (Did we say Christmas? No we didn't. Get the wax out of your ears, people!!!) Special, featuring:
Harvey Korman in Drag
Harvey Korman as an Android who never finishes his instructional video because he breaks down before he is finished.
Harvey Korman as a washed up actor down on his luck panhandling on the streets of New York City.
Harvey Korman in a bunch of other cameo roles.
The late Peter Mayhew as Chunkalunk the Cookie monster.
@hamillhimself as a strangely blonde Arian Marcus Streetwalker
The Late Great Carrie Fisher as Princess Lee Smits
Harrison Ford with glasses as Hands Off.
The "born this way" Anthony Daniels as See-Stinky-O
Mallshopper, Chunkie's wife. If you want to know who plays her, look at Steve Binder's production notes or the end credits.
Chunky's whiny son, Lumpofchunkypeanutbutter, ditto.
The dirty old holoporn addict, ItchToScratch, ditto
A now forgotten African American beauty queen, as a holoporn leech that finds ItchtoScratch adorable
Art Carney as Soddered
Bea Arthur as the Golden Girl Barkeep Dorothy Agmina Zbornak.
Jefforson Airplane as Jefforson Starship
James Earl Jones as Darth Vacuous in one fri**in scene! Thank God we didn't pay for a ticket to see this cr a p! It's just Vacuous an an officer walking down the hallway of the Tainted IV repeated from No Hope with a scenery change and the dialoge redubbed.
R2-D2 as R2-D2
KENNY BAKER: Hey! WThell?
And me the Narrator! I don't get paid enough for this. At least give me the credit I deserve.
- study3600
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- Registered: 12/22/2023
- Posts: 310
Re: The Most of the Star Wars 1978 Holiday Special Humorous Version
SC 01 EXT SPACE
The Millennium Fountain is shown escaping the atmosphere of an unknown reddish-yellow PLANET. (Patootie? What are we doing back on Patootie again - - or is it Yahoo! Who knows? There's just so many random planets in the Star Wars Galaxy. Maybe we have no idea WHAT planet this is.)
SC 02 INT-MILLENNIUM FOUNTAIN-COCKPIT
CHUNKALUNK the COOKIE rocks back and forth in the Co-pilot's chair, not really able to sit down, as HANDS OFF, the CAPTAIN, looks cool, calm and collected.
SC 03 EXT SPACE
Rear view of the MILLENNIUM BUG going forward, its rear THRUSTERS lit up.
SC 04 INT MILLENNIUM FOUNTAIN/BUG-COCKPIT
CHUNKY growls.
HANDS looks up to see TWO IMPERIOUS STAR-WHACKERS cutting off their escape route. Dramatic music starts up. The WHACKERS fire across the FOUNTAIN's BOW. The other STAR WHACKER fires from behind the ship.
HANDS: That's it, I'm turning back.
CHUNKY: (Growls): (Translation: Our screen resolution is lower than the B-est B-Grade film in B-movie land!)
HANDS: I know your family's waiting.
CHUNKY: (Growls exasperatedly) Why can you never understand me the way you could when you were a young man? This whole film needs to be scrubbed professionally and put on Disney + between A New Hope and The Empire strikes Back. And I mean it needs a LOT of scrubbing.
HANDS: (Looks at his co-pilot, looks forward) I know it's an important day.
CHUNKY: (In plain Basic): You know we could try angling the rear deflector shields and creating an escape vector for ourselves to escape the Imperious trap we've sprung.
HANDS: Alright, we'll give it a try. Wait, did you just speak Basic?
CHUNKY: I'm over 170 years old for Pete's sake, I'm a lot smarter than you give me credit for.
HANDS: Ok, I'll get the coordinates, make the jump to lightspeed. I'll get you there on time, trust me.
CHUNKY hugs him from the side.
HANDS: Our only hope now is to outrun that Imperial Garbage Scow.
TREK FANS EVERYWHERE: Ripoffs!
CHUNKY: (Growls): (Translation: And how many times has Trek borrowed things from Wars? Hands, I can't WAIT to see my family again.)
HANDS: That's the spirit! You'll be celebrating Life Day before you know it!
The STARS go into STARLINES as the BUG makes the jump into Hyperspace.
FANS: That scene is so 1977. We saw that last year. It blew us away on the big screen. Now on our little TV sets it underperforms.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....
The STAR WARS CHRISTMAS SPECIAL
(Also featuring an animated short introducing the infamous made fat and gone soft in the Book of Bubba Fett, Bubba Fett, son of Mango Fett).
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